Monday, May 14, 2012

Dealing with someone else's depression

Recently an acquaintance has been suffering from a severe bout of depression.

I kept trying to think of what to say or do but I could never figure out anything.

One day he was having a particularly rough time so I gave him a hug.

It caught both of us by surprise and was probably not a smart thing to do since we really don't know each other that well but I gave him a hug because I was missing the 'old' him.

Yesterday he told me that that hug was the best thing I could have done because it reassured him that I was not considering abandoning our friendship.

I had no idea he was worried about our friendship; much less thinking the friendship might end.

I now realize that was the depression talking and that by giving him a hug I addressed one of his fears in the affirmative without even realizing it.

I think what helps the most with severe depression is just letting the person know that you are not going anywhere and avoiding giving advise because the advise just comes across as crticism of the person for feeling the way he does or pressure to get over it.

Sounds lame I know but I am trying to see it from the depressed person's point of view and, if I were depressed, that's what I would want done. 

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