I don't have a history of keeping new years resolutions but this year will be different (right!).
My new years resolution is to get healthy or at least as healthy as one can get at my age (57 year old).
In August 2008, I posted that in 2001 I stopped going to the gym and gained about 100 pounds in order to make myself so unattractive that I would be undesirable. I did that because I knew it would be difficult, if not near impossible, to keep my vow of monogamy as long as I was attractive enough to draw attention.
I know it sounds vain. I am not at all attractive. At least not in my eyes. But I am a type. The hirsuite, masculine, swarthy guy that seems working class but isn't. This is attractive to some men -and- I am usually attracted to these men because they are mainly what I like which is somewhat pretty, intellectual, solid middle class types.
In other words, wherever I seem to go there seemed to be guys attracted to me that I was attracted to so I had to do something. So I did something incredibly stupid. And here is the thing...I knew it was dumb, I knew what I was doing was harmful to my health but I wanted to do whatever it took to make sure I could keep my end of the deal - I didn't ever want her to worry.
So I did the stupid thing. I gained a 100 pounds because 50 pounds wasn't enough (I thought I still looked too good) and when I finally hit a weight that made me certifiably so self-conscious that I felt nobody would look my way (about 80 pounds) then it took me another 20 pounds before I could hit the brakes enough to stop any further weight gain.)
So there I was seven years later in 2008 weighing 100 pounds more and facing health problems.
There is longetivity in my side of the family. It is not unusual for people in my family to live into their 80's and a few have made it into their 90's.
I realize now I can't take this longetivity for granted because I got readings in May that indicated I was already facing problems that I don't think long living family members faced until much later in life.
Those readings made me realized being fat was not just unhealthy; it was shortening my life.
And I said enough is enough. I have been an idiot too long.
So I got on the internet and read about what I could do and drew up a plan. I have now lost 55 pounds, am eating healthily (more veggies, fruits, eliminating as many processed especially fried foods as I can) and exercising (first walking then joining the gym and doing aerobics, now weight training and aerobics).
And I am starting to think I look good again. Actually, it's just not me. I have gotten lots of positive feedback.
So why am I posting? Because some of this positive feedback has not just come from coworkers and my wife and my friends. There was a guy following me around Crate and Barrel on Thursday. And a guy kind of staring at me intently at Targets last week. The first incident didn't bother me but the second one did. It was a mixture of terror and excitement. I am still dwelling on it. Hopefully, this post will put it to rest.
I tell myself I am older now and should be able to handle this kind of stuff but it still freaks me out. What bothers me is those men picked up on something to act the way they did. Is my neediness that obvious? I don't trust myself.
But I am going to get healthier. I have to or I am not going to make it into my 80's like most of my family.
Regards,
Philip
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3 comments:
Congratulations on your progress! I turn 57 later this year. The fellows who enjoyed seeing you may not have been tuned into any neediness on your behalf, they may simply have found you easy on the eyes. I hope to lose weight in 2011. I've gained 30 pounds in the last couple of years. Not because I sought to, but because I haven't exercised as much as I used to and I'm still eating unhealthy things like ice cream, especially at night. Do you have any recommendations?
Ned,
I'm lucky in that my company provides a nutritionist who has given me a lot of helpful advice on what and what not to do.
For instance, a low fat diet is not good for you because losing too much weight (more than 1 to 2 pounds a week) results in loss of muscle mass.
So she explained that there are good fats and bad fats and that by eating enough good fats I am training my body to burn fat instead of muscle mass. Sounds counter-intuitive I know.
A lot of this information is readily available on the internet but the articles don't always agree so what I did was read enough articles to see what the consensus is.
What has helped me the most is keeping a food diary.
Keeping a food diary forced me to think about what I was eating and to be honest there were times I avoided eating something because I knew I would feel guilty writing it down.
At first I included all sorts of details like how hungry I was beforehand, how full I felt after, where I ate, was the dining experience pleasant and how satisfied did I feel afterwards.
I quickly learned I was doing a lot of emotional eating and didn't feel satisfied afterwards unless I took the time to savor my meal in a pleasnat environment.
Now I avoid eating emotionally (but once in a while I give into it) and I time it so I eat when I'm hungry but not too hungry (so I won't overeat) and then I savor my food in a quiet setting and then eat only enough to feel satisfied.
At first I was eating every four hours with a snack before and after dinner. Now I may skip a snack if I'm not hungry enough or eat a light snack.
Another great thing is that I was able to monitor my progress. My company has a Wellness Center and I would go there to get my blood sugar and blood pressure read.
If my readings jumped then I would read my food diary to see what changes I needed to make in my diet.
I usually found restaurant food was the culprit.
After the first few weeks my readings dropped and have stayed pretty much in the normal range the last couple of months.
Another thing that helped was making realistic and stretch goals.
For instance, I started exercising by going for half hour walks every day. My first monthly goal was to be able to walk up the stairs without getting out of breathe. My first monthly stretch goal was to be able to have a conversation with someone at the same time without getting out of breathe. I made both goals the first month.
So what I would do if I were you is to get a health check and find out what your readings are and then focus on your problem areas.
I use to have high blood sugar, high cholesterol and pre-hypertension.
What I found on the internet and what my nutritionist later confirmed was that weight loss (if you are overweight), exercise and eating the right foods all help reduce or eliminate these onditions.
Unlike medicines, which seem to only prevent the condition from getting worse.
I am going to get a physical soon but I am no longer on any medications and my readings are all in the normal or optimal range for someone my age.
I have a list of types of food I eat or avoid. I have to be careful not to eat too many carbs because that will spike my blood sugar so I never eat just carbs and when I have a carb I always have a protein. Let me know if you would like to hear more.
The one health issue I have made no progress is in reducing stress from sexual frustration. That ebbs and flows but is always there. I hate to say it but I don't think there is any cure for that as long as I am gay celibate.
Hope this helps.
Regards,
Philip
Thanks for this detailed reply, Philip. I feel a new sense of hope. Maybe I should use the 2011 paper-based calendar/journal that I got myself for Christmas to keep a food journal in. Yes, I welcome any other ideas you have. Thanks much for your kindness in replying and sharing with me.
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