Deja Vu...all over again

I was in our local bookstore. I knew what he was up to the moment I saw him. He was off to the side but staring intently at the Culture Studies section. Since he didn't look Hispanic or Asian or African American and he wasn't a woman then it must be the GLBT shelf. I am intimately familiar with that shelf. It is two-thirds full of titles mostly written 10 or more years ago. The GLBT shelf had been my destination. I changed direction and headed towards the Bargain section. I didn't want my presence scaring him off. I noticed the slight build and youthful clothes. I purposely didn't look at his face.

Later on while in the bargain section trying to convince myself to buy another book I will probably never read, "blue shirt" walked by and stood in the cashier line. Impulsively I grabbed my $4.98 special and got in line behind him. He was holding a tradebook in his hand with the title face down. I watched him make his purchase. His voice held but his hands gave away his nervousness. Or was it my over-active imagination at work? I watched the young man walk away. Seemed to me that his pace quickened as he neared the door. The cashier was talking to me. I was being rude and turned my attention away from the young man. I held eye contact with the cashier longer than I should have. He gave me a half smile. Here was a kindred spirit. I wondered if he was thinking of what had just transpired, too.

When I got outside I felt silly but searched for the young man. He was gone. As I waited for my ride, I couldn't help but think of another young man long ago and how that young man's heart had pounded while making his purchase and the relief he had felt when the cashier nonchalantly rang up and bagged the purchase without accusation. I can even remember the title. "Men on Men", the first in a wonderful series. My ride arrived.