Two dreams....

I am in a warehouse.  It is a warehouse of old people.  Doctors and nurses are milling around going from patient to patient.  I look all around me.  My eyes keep coming back to this one woman.  She is somehow familiar.  Her hair is grey and brittle; her breasts sag underneath her sweater.  I have never seen this woman before but then I know who she is.  She is my wife and she is waiting.  Seems to me that she has been waiting all her life.  I realize I am lying in a cot.  I don’t feel any pain but I know I am dying.

I ask God if in death will we finally find happiness.  I wait but God does not answer.  Then I know.  No, not even in death will we find happiness.

I wake up crying.  But after a while I am able to fall back asleep.

I am on the Burlington Northern train heading out of Chicago to Berwyn where I live.  I am young again.  I have wonderful news and am so excited.  I don’t know what the wonderful news is but it is big.  And there is only one person in the whole wide world that I want to tell this news to.  The closer I get to my destination, the more excited I get.  But it’s not clear in my mind who that person is.  Finally the train halts to a stop.  I get off and start walking briskly.  I walk faster and faster until I break out into a run.  My heart is pounding.  Then I know who that special person is.  It is her.  It is her.  I am running to her.

I wake up crying again.  This time I am afraid to fall back asleep.  Daylight finally arrives and I get up to start my day.