That's me in my aerobics outfit.
I've always struggled with my weight.
Then at 33 I did what a lot of gay married men do after coming out - I joined a gym, lost a ton of weight and got into better shape that I had ever been in my entire life.
When my wife and I separated, I weighed 185 pounds.
Then after years of separation I asked my wife if I could move back in. She said yes. I weighed about 195 at the time.
Then I did something incredibly stupid. I decided to stop going to the gym and purposely go on an eating binge. My thinking was that it would be really difficult to stay monogamous but if I got fat enough then it wouldn't matter because who would want me except for the chubby chasers and I would just stay away from them.
When I got to 220 I figured I still looked too good so I kept on eating. When I hit 240 then I thought maybe another 10 pounds would do it. When I hit 260 I made some weak attempts to stop. Finally at 287 I hit the brakes.
I had gained 92 pounds. Seven years later my weight is around 280 and I have health problems. I'm diabetic. I have sleep apnea. And high cholesterol. I use a c-pap to sleep. And my right leg goes numb if I stand for more than a few minutes.
So I joined LA Fitness and for the last two years having been trying to get back into the habit of regularly going to the gym. I go consistently for a month then don't go for two. Or go three times one week, one time the next then skip several weeks.
I do aerobics because lifting weights is boring. But my gym has only one good aerobics instructor and she teaches just once a week. So therein lies the problem. I'm not exercising regularly because I hate all but one of the aerobics classes. So I decided to scour the other LA Fitnesses for good aerobics classes and found plenty but all far away. However, I went to classes regularly for about two months then gas went to $4 a gallon and I stopped.
Well, I am never going to lose this weight or diabetes or the c-pap or high cholesterol or the leg numbness until I get on a regular program of diet and exercise.
So I'm going to go back to the other gyms because my health is worth more than $4 a gallon gas. And I figured if I wrote about my weight and health problems to you all that the shame alone would force me to kick start my diet and exercise program.
So...Hello, World. Here I am. The Blob.
Then at 33 I did what a lot of gay married men do after coming out - I joined a gym, lost a ton of weight and got into better shape that I had ever been in my entire life.
When my wife and I separated, I weighed 185 pounds.
Then after years of separation I asked my wife if I could move back in. She said yes. I weighed about 195 at the time.
Then I did something incredibly stupid. I decided to stop going to the gym and purposely go on an eating binge. My thinking was that it would be really difficult to stay monogamous but if I got fat enough then it wouldn't matter because who would want me except for the chubby chasers and I would just stay away from them.
When I got to 220 I figured I still looked too good so I kept on eating. When I hit 240 then I thought maybe another 10 pounds would do it. When I hit 260 I made some weak attempts to stop. Finally at 287 I hit the brakes.
I had gained 92 pounds. Seven years later my weight is around 280 and I have health problems. I'm diabetic. I have sleep apnea. And high cholesterol. I use a c-pap to sleep. And my right leg goes numb if I stand for more than a few minutes.
So I joined LA Fitness and for the last two years having been trying to get back into the habit of regularly going to the gym. I go consistently for a month then don't go for two. Or go three times one week, one time the next then skip several weeks.
I do aerobics because lifting weights is boring. But my gym has only one good aerobics instructor and she teaches just once a week. So therein lies the problem. I'm not exercising regularly because I hate all but one of the aerobics classes. So I decided to scour the other LA Fitnesses for good aerobics classes and found plenty but all far away. However, I went to classes regularly for about two months then gas went to $4 a gallon and I stopped.
Well, I am never going to lose this weight or diabetes or the c-pap or high cholesterol or the leg numbness until I get on a regular program of diet and exercise.
So I'm going to go back to the other gyms because my health is worth more than $4 a gallon gas. And I figured if I wrote about my weight and health problems to you all that the shame alone would force me to kick start my diet and exercise program.
So...Hello, World. Here I am. The Blob.
Regards,
Philip
Philip
2 comments:
FWIW, Philip, I'm in much the same boat...swimming has been the one thing I can do and keep myself doing. I suppose you need to find an exercise that you're motivated to get into and keep doing. I've lost a bunch of fat, and I'm feeling in better shape--I think that's what's important.
And, FWIW, that picture could just as well be one of me. :)
kengo: Thanks for the encouragement. Keep up with the swimming!
I've decided to take more responsibility for my own health so each week I'm going to do at least one new thing to improve my health. This week I got a diabetes kit to keep track of my sugar level and hopefully it will become very vivid to me what foods I need to avoid.
Next week I'm hitting the gym.
Regards,
Philip
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