My Company did many of the right things:
Included Sexual Orientation in the Company’s nondiscrimination clause
Supported a Gay and Lesbian Employee Network
Offered Domestic Partner benefits.
Yet I was still afraid to come out at work
In Arizona, it is legal to discriminate against someone for being gay.
So you have no legal recourse if discriminated against in the workplace because of your sexual orientation.
My Company had thousands of employees but only a handful were openly gay.
And there were no openly gay employees in my department (or so I thought).
Plus, there was this informal, unspoken policy of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”
And a common belief, the “pink ceiling”, that being openly gay hurt your chances of advancement.
So why did I do it?
A young man I didn’t know killed himself in a very terrible way because of my silence and the silence of others.
So I made a personal decision to be silent no longer.
But I was already out to family and friends.
So I decided the workplace was the first place to break my silence.
And what did I expect?
No idea really.
I had previously only come out to family and friends.
I had never come out to relative strangers before.
And the openly gay people I knew worked at another site that had a reputation for being more open and gay friendly.
And there were special considerations
My coworkers varied in age, race, ethnicity, religion and national origin.
I was coming out to people I reported to and reported to me.
And some of my coworkers were foreign nationals from India and the Philippines.
What was my process?
A leap of faith. I had to believe I would get through it OK.
Because coming out at work felt like walking in the dark not knowing if ahead was solid ground or the edge of a cliff.
I told myself I would be able to handle whatever happened.
I hoped for the best but prepared for the worst.
But most importantly I had finally gotten to the point where coming out was so important I was willing to risk my job.
And I reminded myself that no matter what happened it couldn’t possibly be worse then what had happened to that young man.
He was the catalyst I needed to take that leap.
I did it for him.
Included Sexual Orientation in the Company’s nondiscrimination clause
Supported a Gay and Lesbian Employee Network
Offered Domestic Partner benefits.
Yet I was still afraid to come out at work
In Arizona, it is legal to discriminate against someone for being gay.
So you have no legal recourse if discriminated against in the workplace because of your sexual orientation.
My Company had thousands of employees but only a handful were openly gay.
And there were no openly gay employees in my department (or so I thought).
Plus, there was this informal, unspoken policy of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”
And a common belief, the “pink ceiling”, that being openly gay hurt your chances of advancement.
So why did I do it?
A young man I didn’t know killed himself in a very terrible way because of my silence and the silence of others.
So I made a personal decision to be silent no longer.
But I was already out to family and friends.
So I decided the workplace was the first place to break my silence.
And what did I expect?
No idea really.
I had previously only come out to family and friends.
I had never come out to relative strangers before.
And the openly gay people I knew worked at another site that had a reputation for being more open and gay friendly.
And there were special considerations
My coworkers varied in age, race, ethnicity, religion and national origin.
I was coming out to people I reported to and reported to me.
And some of my coworkers were foreign nationals from India and the Philippines.
What was my process?
A leap of faith. I had to believe I would get through it OK.
Because coming out at work felt like walking in the dark not knowing if ahead was solid ground or the edge of a cliff.
I told myself I would be able to handle whatever happened.
I hoped for the best but prepared for the worst.
But most importantly I had finally gotten to the point where coming out was so important I was willing to risk my job.
And I reminded myself that no matter what happened it couldn’t possibly be worse then what had happened to that young man.
He was the catalyst I needed to take that leap.
I did it for him.
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